Raising children is no easy task! Once your child has reached adolescence, it is important help him or her become a caring, independent and responsible adult. Since adolescence is a perplexing and sometimes difficult time, your nurturing and encouragement can help shape your teen’s decisions to behave responsibly. Here are a few guidelines that can help you with your teenager:
- Show Positive Attention: Be sure to spend time with your teen, listen to what they have to say, respect their feelings and make sure they know you care. If at first your child doesn’t want to bond, keep reaching out. You may also want to encourage them to talk with other close, supportive adults, such as an aunt, uncle or cousin.
- Reduce Parental Pressure: It’s important to let your teenager be him or herself. Don’t pressure your child to be more like you, yourself when you were a teen or how you wish you had been as a teenager. You can allow some self-expression and still keep your high expectations for the kind of person you want your child to become.
- Set Clear Boundaries: By establishing what behavior is acceptable and what is not, your teen will be encouraged to act responsibly. When making the rules, avoid ultimatums, be specific and concise and explain the consequences of negative behavior. You may also need to explain the reasoning behind a rule, and this will help your teen understand why the rule has been set. When your teen is following all the rules, be flexible and reasonable, allowing them a little more freedom as a reward.
- Enforce Consequences: While enforcing a punishment is tough, you need to do this in order to show your teen that you are the parent and not a friend. If you are too lenient on the rules, your teen is less likely to abide by them while being too strict and harsh can cause resentment. While enforcing a consequence, actively ignore whining, yelling and sulking by telling your teenager that you will talk to them once this behavior stops. Be clear to scold your teen’s behavior, not your teen, and avoid using sarcasm, demeaning language and tone. Along with a consequence, you may want to give your teen an additional responsibility or chore and impose an additional restriction as part of the punishment.
- Be a Positive Example: As the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” Your teen will learn how to behave by watching your actions. Be sure to set a positive example for your teenager.